Final Papers Received for Certification

Ever since my first experience with meditation the depth of internalizing thought provoked has intrigued me. I had noticed the advertisement in the
Nursing Spectrum magazine. For several months it caught my eye. Suddenly I felt compelled to call and inquire about it for fear that I had missed the opportunity to register. I was relieved to find that I still had time and that there was space in the class. It is the perfect time of my life to take this on.
My very first experience with yoga was in High school. I had developed a daily practice then and continued with books and television yoga classes. I continued to be aware of my posture and was able to instruct others on the benefits of proper posture. The total body relaxation exercise came in handy over the years for healing after surgery, childbirth and general exhaustion.
Gradually over time my practice just discontinued. If only I had known of the Himilayan Institute in the 70’s ! I pursued my career in nursing, specializing in Pediatrics for the past 30 yrs. I had recently taken a supervisor position in a pediatric homecare office. Since I have been coming to Dr Susan Taylor’s classes, one thing I had noticed early on, was how stressed out my coworkers in the office were. My main focus was to teach them the total body relaxation exercise. I also had the opportunity to lead a class for an adult epilepsy support group. After the session I always asked for feedback from the participants. One participant was especially prone to seizure activity and the group was talking about all of the different meetings and the corresponding seizures that this particular participant had had, one example was that he had offered to pour water into everyone’s glass, he had a seizure while he was pouring and spilled the water everywhere. The different participants revealed their experience with the group about how profound the depth of relaxarion was for them. They also spoke of how difficult it was to let their thoughts go, and the different body sensations that they experienced. As for the one participant with the frequent seizures … this was the first meeting that he had been to that he did not have a seizure at all during the meeting. He attributed it to the systematic total body relaxation exercise. I can see that the practice of systematic relaxation is a gift that I have mastered and I am able to make a profound difference in peoples lives by teaching them this practice.
As for my own meditation practice, I have regressed. I started out after the first class sitting to meditate every morning and, writing in my journal daily. My schedule, as I have been promoted to the Assistant Director of Nursing, has been hectic, to say the least. I have been able to maintain a daily yoga practice every morning but I have failed to sit for meditation daily. I go through the systematic total body relaxation at night when I am in bed. I am able to specifically target tension in my body and apply the suggestion of relaxation. Throughout the day I am able to notice tension arising in my body, shoulders, stomach, spine and neck, and bring relaxation to those areas almost instantly. I have had several systematic relaxation sessions with my nephew’s wife and she has weaned herself from her anti-anxiety medication.
I am looking forward to the final phase of our meditation certification class. I have relinquished some of my commitments and extra curricular activities to give me more time for focusing on my practice and teaching. I have been reading Swami Rama’s The art of Joyful Living. I have begun watching Pandit Rajmani Tigunait’s DVD that I received in the mail as a member of the Himilayan Institute and I am re-inspired to begin anew my commitment to daily practice and develop a teaching tool.

I first saw the ad for the Meditation Specialist Certification course in Nursing Spectrum the fall of 2006. Every two weeks a new issue would come and the ad beckoned to me; I thought, can I afford this? Can I take the time from work? Will my colleagues be inconvenienced? Finally, in January 2007, I registered for the first workshop. My fears after registration were: would I be accepted by the group; I felt nervous, insecure, even threatened by the thought of being with so many strangers learning such an intimate process as meditation. I had tried to learn meditation several times in the past and had always been frustrated because I couldn’t reach “Nirvana.” How would I be able to learn this one more time?

During the first clinic I learned how to sit properly and ignore distractions such as that omnipresent voice in my head and outside noises like the birds singing. It was such a liberating feeling to know these distractions were normal and not a sign I was an inadequate meditator. In addition, after the first clinic, I felt relaxed and empowered. I was noticeably calmer at work. When stressful situations arose at work I would actually have a physical longing for a meditation session. I soon set-up a meditation area in my spare bedroom, which I have kept to this day and embellished with a beautiful zabuton and zafu from Zen Mountain Monastery.

Prior to the second clinic I did backslide by missing meditation sessions and the old feelings of inadequacy began to return: I am really not cut-out for this; others are better at this than I am (self-defeating, for sure). Much to my surprise, I learned I was right on par with others in the course and a whole lot of backsliding had taken place. It was during the second clinic that I realized the real value of journaling and I have been surprisingly consistent with my journal ever since. If I miss a day of meditation, I try not to miss my journal. My journal helps to keep me centered and gives me not only a chance to encapsulate my day, but to put events into perspective.

I learned during the second clinic that relaxation is as much a part of meditation as breathing and focused breathing (through counting and alternate nostril breathing). The three: relaxation, breathing and focused breathing are interwoven and inextricable like a Celtic knot. I realized that I had been teaching a form of meditation to my pregnant and laboring patients for years whenever I helped them relax and deal with problems like stress, pain, loss, parenting crises and other pregnancy-related situations. Many of my sessions with patients have been (and continue to be) on-the-fly during the brief time allotted to each visit (more on this below).

The interval between the second and third clinics was one of personal change for me. I found that I was able to internalize the techniques I had learned and apply them more frequently to my everyday life. One of our challenges was to create a new habit. I decided I wanted to be more mindful and live in the present as often as possible to get through situations both mundane (like preparing dinner after a long day at work) and profound (like dealing with a hostile or anxious patient). I wanted to be able to feel less pressured by undone tasks and procrastinations. I found that by working to focus on the present task-at-hand and controlling my emotions through my breathing, I felt more energetic. My “to-do” list actually became shorter. I made a point of listening to meditation or philosophy CDs on my long drive to work instead of tuning in the news or weather. I felt less jittery when I got to work if I drove to work with a calm voice; it really does work—at least for the first hour or so. I try to remember to breathe abdominally and evenly when I start to feel out-of-control although I find this is a habit that still requires a conscious decision and probably always will. If I find that if I’m feeling pressured and anxious it’s almost always because I have neglected to finish or focus on a task that subconsciously saps me of my strength; if I get up and just “do it” the pressure eases. This may sound like it’s straying from meditation, but I don’t believe I would have worked so systematically at staying in the present if I had not learned how to focus my breathing and push away distracting thoughts.

Just prior to clinic three I noticed another change in my mind-set. Through practice and listening to meditation tapes I was finally able to find my heart center. It was difficult in the beginning for me to visualize my heart center in my mind’s eye. One night while listening to one of Susan’s tapes (the tape with the counting meditation is my favorite), I was practicing abdominal breathing and I realized that the sensation of my ribs expanding and relaxing, although a physical sensation, was the same mental sensation I was getting when I imagined breathing energy into and out of my heart center. This may sound like a trivial thing, but it was a serendipity for me; the abdominal breathing and the flow into and out of my heart center truly feel like a combined physical/mental sensation of self-nourishment.

When clinic three began I was saddened by the number of women who were no longer present. I was also amazed that I was still part of the group! I had persevered and was proving to myself that I was able and worthy of learning and teaching these techniques even if, in the past, I felt like I had failed at them. In reality, I had never been properly taught nor empowered. During this clinic I felt the process falling into place. Yes! I could teach meditation in front of the group and the critiques were not as threatening as I feared. There was mutual support and compassion from the group members as well as the instructor. I felt empowered by the example of 30 second meditations when time and motivation is limited.

Since clinic three I have come to realize that journaling is an integral part of my meditation practice for the same reasons as I listed above in paragraph three. Many of my patients have anxiety, depression or bipolar disorders. Unfortunately, I do not have much time to spend with each patient because we are a managed care service. However, in five minutes it is possible to teach the rudiments of posture, relaxation, breathing (especially even breathing without pausing or holding the breath, but I sometimes encourage counting breathing as well) and journaling. I tell my patients about how journaling can help them compartmentalize and categorize their feelings and thoughts and realize their progress, sometimes with the ability to laugh about things in hindsight (some of my patients gave me the idea to promote journaling because it was part of their therapy in the past!).

In the future, I would like to set up a meditation practice at the hospital for nurses (and others) who are coming off a twelve hour shift. It could be a drop-in session in one of our education rooms on a specific or rotating night. I have not been able to formalize this because I do not have my certification yet, but there is definite interest in the nursing education department.

A more personal goal is to be able to meditate without relying so much on tapes and others’ voices. I really like all my meditation tapes, but I would like to work more on my own self-programming; in other words, improve my ability to make my meditation more portable when my DVD, CD or MP3 players are not available. I use my abdominal breathing and relaxation to help with falling asleep (it really works); to help decrease the urge to eat at inappropriate times (late at night or when I’m bored); and to help calm my mind when anticipating a stressful or hostile encounter. An example of the latter happened recently when I was returning to Philadelphia on a flight from Phoenix. We descended from the clouds into some strong winds (I could actually hear the wind hitting the side of the jet) and there was briefly some violent turbulence. I was able to calm my fears and discomfort during the turbulence by consciously relaxing and doing a short counting meditation. My daughter said it was actually praying, and perhaps it was, but it helped me feel centered and accepting of what was happening instead of reeling out of control into panic.u

The real journey began many years ago, when I began to have issues with anxiety. A pastor recommended that I try meditating. He described how by focusing on my breathing, I could learn to relax my mind and find a sense of peace. That was 25 years ago. I lacked the discipline to follow the simple breathing techniques, while my mind would race on. Yet over the years I somehow knew that this technique of focusing on the breath might somehow hold the key to relaxation.
I watched the ads in Nursing Spectrum for months, always intrigued by the possibility of becoming proficient in the skill of meditation. I finally took the plunge and registered for the program. I attended Clinic 1 in Petaluma. In our very first session, we were asked what we hoped to gain from attending the clinics. My first reaction was that of course I was there to learn to meditate, and if by some chance someone wanted to me to teach them the technique, I would do so. However, as I learned more and more about the techniques, I realized that this had the potential to benefit many other people, besides the obvious benefit to me.
The clinics held a wealth of information. I learned that focused awareness was not only a key to relaxation, but also a profound way to focus on a more healthy lifestyle. I learned the physiology behind the physical benefits of meditation. That opened my thoughts to the possibility that I could really impact people’s lives for the better, by teaching them the techniques I was learning.
I found it difficult initially to find a time when I could consistently practice. At first, I would try to get up 20 minutes early, at 4:40 in the morning, before getting ready for work. But I found it difficult to be disciplined to get myself up and out of bed that early. So, I began to experiment with different times of day. I tried practicing in the evening, but found I couldn’t be consistent. I seemed to keep coming back to that early morning time. This was a time when I knew I would consistently be up and about. But I shortened my length of time of meditating to 10 minutes. I found I could consistently commit to those 10 minutes each and every morning. And if I had more time to spend, that would be a bonus.
Upon the completion of Clinic 2, I ventured out on teaching the technique to someone else. My husband was my guinea pig. I was amazed at the ease with which I was able to guide him through a focused awareness exercise…and even more amazed at his response… of how the guided exercise made him feel relaxed and peaceful. I, then, began using the techniques on my patients in Labor and Delivery. My patients responded in a very positive way, and were obviously grateful for someone taking the time to help them relax.
Clinic 3 seemed to “bring it all together”. I learned more of the physiologic changes that are brought about by practicing meditation on a daily basis. During our practicum, I was able to observe the differences with which each student taught, and learned to incorporate some of those differences in my own practice. But most of all, I learned that in order to truly teach others the benefits of meditation, I would need to be disciplined enough to practice each and every day…for a lifetime.
I look forward to Clinic 4, and certification. I can hardly believe that a year has gone by since our first clinic. What a life changing experience!
I don’t know what the future may hold. I haven’t decided if, and when, I would like to teach the techniques more formally, in a classroom setting. But, in the meantime, my patients, my family, and I are benefiting in profound ways from the technique of focused awareness.

I was drawn to the meditation specialist classes for reasons unknown to me at the time. I suppose my subconscious mind knew what I need before my conscious mind did. I just felt it was the right place to be at this time in my life.

As I began this year long journey I was torn between my day to day routine chores that need attention, and spending time for myself to meditate. I felt selfish spending this precious time on myself. After all there was laundry and dusting and shopping and cleaning and yard work and animals to take care of. In addition I had just taken on a new job and needed to spend time studying this new area of nursing. Of course the list never ends, and it never will. As Susan told us, the energy at the conferences is high, and it is easy to focus on our practices, but upon returning home I'm left to create the space and time to continue on with my practice, without the group energy, and Susan's energy. This was my challenge.

I knew it would be beneficial to spend time meditating, that my practice would allow the rest of my life to fall into place, but I continued to put it off for one reason or another. Maybe my mind was ready for this new life, but my body still wanted that extra 15 min. of sleep.

Although I enjoy my quiet meditation time, I was so stressed with work and my home life that I couldn't imagine adding an additional "chore" to my days.

Although it seems simple, it took quite some time for it to dawn on me that all the stress I feel in so many different areas are exactly why I needed to add in time for myself to meditate. After all, isn't this the goal of the seminars? Isn't this exactly what my future clients will be saying to me? I had been looking at it all wrong. It has taken time, but now I feel my practice is as valuable to my day as breathing is to my body.

My practice allows me to focus througout the rest of the day, without effort. Meditation allows me to focus on the important issues and allow the rest to float by without giving them a thought. It has also made it easier to ignore the negative statements made by others, and look for the goodness in the moment.

Even when I don't practice routinely, I always employ the diaphramatic breathing on a daily basis. The breathing allows me to see situations through calmer, less stressed eyes.

I was never exposed to yoga prior to the first seminar. The first day of yoga was enticing. Being overweight made it more challenging, but also reminded me of what it felt like to be aware of my body and the space it occupies in this world. I was eager to be on a regular exercise routine. Sadly I am not there just yet, but know it is in my future. Things will fall into place when the time is right.

I am walking on the path of this meditation journey with no end in sight. It is an exciting walk with much to learn, to improve my health physically and mentally.

I am at peace.

I’m not sure when my meditation journey began, but my best guess is that it was probably some 25 years ago as I trained to be a Lamaze teacher. Somewhere in the process of learning the principles of relaxation, to be able to help mothers cope with the rigors of labor, I learned methods to help focus the mind and in the process, a little about meditation.

Over the years as I “played” with using meditation in my life, I found myself struggling constantly with an overactive “monkey-mind” that was nearly impossible to quiet. Even seven years ago when I started to work with a spiritual teacher I found meditations, that were supposed to quiet the mind, seemed to bring on a flood of mental activity. The more I tried to find the peace and quiet the more I struggled.

Change finally came in the form of the “Meditation Specialist” training. I first saw the ad in The Nursing Spectrum in 2006 for the first classes being offered. I was interested and felt pulled to the training but with all the activity in my life I opted not to go. But when the ads appeared for the 2007 sessions the “pull” to the sessions became not a gentle pull but a full-fledged drive that would not be denied. Now I am so glad I found a program that is not only benefitting me but will also allow me to share the benefits of meditation with others.

During that first clinic I learned to find my “meditation seat” as well as how to help clients find theirs, and found my meditations becoming easier to handle (less “monkey-mind”). When my body was properly aligned and more comfortable, my mind was less active. When thoughts came wandering through my mind I was able to watch them pass and not get engaged in them. Recently, while visiting with friends, I was able to help some long term meditators find their “meditation seat”. After adjusting and practicing they were grateful for the tips on positioning.

Relaxation has been a big part of my teaching, both for pregnant mothers to use in labor and for others in the workplace to use in daily life. But over the years I had begun to feel as if something was not quit right in my relaxation teaching and practice. That something not quite right was in the way I was teaching it. I had
been taught to work down the body then to have the clients do a body scan to find any areas that were still tense and the work to relax those areas. I felt incomplete and I’m sure my clients did too. So when we were taught to bring the client back up the body I found the missing piece...I was leaving them(and myself)
stranded at their feet. I now teach clients make the complete circle–head, body, feet and return feet, body head. Now both my clients and I feel more complete... and relaxed.

Each clinic brought me to a place of deeper practice, longer meditations and a more solid commitment to the practices. I now feel more focused in my life and able to complete projects with ease. I have also found myself to be better able to cope with the day to day upsets, I’m much calmer and not so triggered by the happenings and situations in my life. With meditation as a daily practice there is a sense of peace that flows through my days and I even find myself smiling contentedly even in stressful situations.

As my practice deepened I wanted to begin bringing this information to other. I started with doing individual sessions with a couple of co-workers. One was struggling with elevated blood pressure, so we started with diaphragmatic breathing and relaxation and then progressed to doing short meditations. Her blood pressure is now nearly normal and she says she is feeling much calmer, and “normal”. As we get ready to finish up with Clinic 4 there several others who are interested in learning the skills that they see co-workers using.

I am looking forward to the final clinic in Petaluma to hear the final words of wisdom from Susan and to put the finishing touches on my own practice and teaching skills. Even though this will be the end of our clinics it feels like the beginning of a never-ending learning process and the unfoldment of a new way of being.

This year long course of study about meditation is, for me, not the
beginning nor is it the end. I had experience in meditation prior to
our first session together and I know I will continue meditating long
after the course is "finished." This is not the beginning and not the
ending but a wonderful deepening, broadening and expanding of
knowledge and abilities.
At Clinic 1: Build Your Foundation, I found invaluable information
and clarification. Meditation itself was clearly defined: what it is
and what it is not. Dr. Susan Taylor presented the nutrition and the
anatomy and physiology components in such an interesting and pertinent
manner. I was fascinated with the information. Susan has a real gift
for connecting science to the lives, bodies, minds and spirits of her
students. She spoke about meditation vs. medication and about self
care as a vehicle for patient care. RNs are notoriously bad in the
self care department.
To learn how to sit properly was a priceless skill to obtain. I used
to sit to meditate with my knees slightly higher than my hips. This
would cause a mid-back pain which impacted my ability to sit in
meditation. I left Clinic 1 well nourished, well rested, well
stretched and well on the road to establishing a daily practice,
something I had never been able to sustain.
At home in my small house, full of family and pets, I tried to
establish my place for meditation. I chose a spot in the living room.
Each day, before I meditated, I first built a tower of pillows in
order to get my seat correct. Sometimes I was able to meditate
comfortably for a number of days in a row, then something I would call
"my life" would get in the way. After a few days I would recommit and
return to stacking pillows.
During Clinic 2: Create Vitality, with its focus on the breath, I felt
truly inspired. I enjoyed meeting with the other participants for a
second time, sharing stories of progress - or not progressing - and
sharing encouragements and laughs. The theory of the connection of
the body and the mind through the breath was more fully explored with
science based information that really appeals to me. The Center
Access concept was further explained and principles of energy were
introduced. I already had a Neti Pot and after Clinic 2 I was more
prone to use it as Susan explained the benefits so well.
After Clinic 2, during the summer, my then 23 daughter commented more
than once when she visited that I seemed calmer and happier. I did
feel a pervasive deep sense of inner peace that I attribute to the
breathing exercise that I was practicing. Diaphragmatic seems to calm
me immediately and slows down a rush of frustration or anger.
Alternate nostril breathing brings a clarity of mind as well as a
softening of attitudes.
I found Clinic 3: Relaxation just as interesting as the first two
clinics. The focus on the five foundation steps for meditation was
very helpful. During the individual presentations I learned from my
classmates.
I returned home dedicated to a daily practice and was able to sustain
this for quite a few weeks. I felt deeply connected with my inner
self. Then my life became busier than usual. At the onset of the
busyness I was able to continue to dedicate time every day to my
meditation practice. Then little by little I skipped a day here and
there. Then I went a week without meditating, then two weeks. I felt
irritable and struggled with a seasonal depression. I really
struggled and drifted away from my connection to my inner self. This
was emotionally painful. I felt disappointed with myself.
Then a friend gave me a blank journal. I have journaled for many
years. One of our Meditation Specialist's assignments is to journal
about meditation practices. I found that I actually journaled less.
I think that I was so used to writing as therapy and exploration, all
quite private, that the idea of journaling as an assignment stopped me
cold. When I received a new journal I realized that I could use it as
a separate place to write about my meditation experiences and
perceptions. Writing loosened the hold that depression had on me. I
refocused. I changed my place for meditating from the living room to
the bedroom, and this seems like a good change. I was able to get
back to my cushion and back to my daily practice. It's kinda
embarrassing that I slipped like that, but that's my reality.
I feel that Dr. Susan Taylor has given me the tools to build that
balanced life that she inspires us to strive for. Thank you Susan,
now and always.
Namaste.

I remember being drawn to an advertisement in the Nursing Spectrum, which read Meditation Specialist Certification. At the time, I was taking a class on Buddhism and thought this would expand my experience and knowledge. I had also been searching for a way to help our nursing students cope with their stress and anxiety while in school. I registered to attend the first session and was anxious to learn a way to become more focused and centered in my personal life.

On my first trip to the Institute, I was a little nervous and was not sure what to expect. Once I realized that most of the participants were nurses, I relaxed and felt a kinship to the other attendees. The session was much more intense and in depth than I expected. I felt intellectually stimulated and excited that could teach what I was learning to other especially our students. I was totally immersed in the experience. While I was at the Institute reality was suspended. On returning to my everyday existence I found it difficult to incorporate my practice. I let days and sometimes weeks go by without meditating. Although, I found it exceptionally rewarding when I did practice I lacked the self discipline.

During the third clinic, I realized that if we just made the effort even 5 minutes a day that we would create a strong and dedicated practice. At that time we were expected to demonstrate our technique in the front of the class. I was anxious but seemed to have muddled through it.

After returning from that clinic, I was determined to practice and teach. I had been promising the students that I would start teaching but was nervous and did not pick a date to start the classes. After checking with the other faculty members to determine the student’s schedule, I decided that Mondays at noon time would work for everyone. I only had a half hour before their next class started. I devised a schedule with 10 minutes for teaching, 10 minutes to adjust positions and 10 minutes for relaxation and meditation.

Only 3 students attended my first class. I was somewhat disappointed but enthusiastic and appreciated the students who attended. Since that time I have continued to teach each week and the class has increased each week. We have had some encouraging results. One student shared that she had been losing her hair when she started and now that has subsided. She also shared that she is able to cope with her anxiety more effectively.

I have encouraged the students to teach their patients, family and friends what they are learning. I feel that I have finally reached a point were I am instrumental in spreading the knowledge and benefits of meditation.

I thoroughly enjoy teaching the students and plan to expand my student base once I receive my certification. I feel that I have been given a gift and have the extreme pleasure of sharing that with others. The benefits are both tangible and spiritual that last a lifetime. I recently read an article in the Shambala Sun in reference to the research being done on the positive effects of mindfulness meditation and depression. I look forward to continually learning and being a strong advocate for meditation in everyone’s life.

Susan, I am so grateful to you for being such an influential and supportive teacher. You have touched my life in a profound way and I in turn will touch many more thanks to you. Please feel free to contact me at anytime if you need help or I can be of any assistance to you.

I have just read all of the meditation papers. They read so easily. It is clear that everyone has had a positive personal journey this past year through meditation. Thank you, Susan.

I had been searching for something to do in the health
and wellness field in hopes of retiring from a 35 year
career in community health nursing. I was unhappy
with my current work environment and felt I needed a
change. At the same time, I felt insecure about
leaving a stable job for the unknown. When I read
the Nursing Spectrum ad for the Meditation Specialist
certification for Health Practitioners I was
immediately interested. I had been practicing yoga
for a few years and sometimes I went to class just for
the guided relaxation at the end. Over the past few
years I was increasingly aware of the literature about
the mind’s effect on the body and how stress can cause
many altered health states. I wanted to help people
on the preventive side of health not the reactive. I
was curious, needed stress relief and wanted to
experience life, if only for 4 days, in an ashram. So
I signed up for just one clinic.
The night before I left for Clinic 1, I wished I
hadn’t spent the money. Things at work were
stressful, I was worried about a close family member
who was having difficulty, and I wasn’t looking
forward to the 8 hour drive by myself to the Himalayan
Institute, especially driving over the Pocono
Mountains. I didn’t think I had time for myself in
what seemed like an indulgent endeavor. When I
arrived and walked into the Himalayan Institute, I was
still feeling somewhat stressed but within the hour, a
calmer mood settled in. Over the next four days, my
transformation began. I was relieved to see that the
large group of mostly nurses in Clinic 1 were around
my age and were like-minded despite various
backgrounds. I learned more about Dr. Taylor and how
well qualified she is to teach this course. The
course was well prepared and presented. I was
absorbing information from the lectures and practices
with me as the focus more than anyone else. I loved
the yoga sessions and the food and felt protected from
the world. On the fourth day, I was hooked, ready to
leave and start practicing meditation at home. I was
also looking forward to incorporating the nutritional
information I had learned into my own diet. At home,
I had difficulty setting a time to practice. My life
stressors continued and worsened. My meditation
practice struggled for consistency. I was using
pillows to do seated meditation in a seldom used room.
I used visualization to get my breath flowing without
pause and I thought I had a breakthrough when my mind
felt clearer after alternate nostril breathing. I
was beginning to feel like meditation was keeping me
on an even keel. I thought I was finally getting my
practice on a roll when I had to go to a hotel for a
few days and then my son moved home from college.
This didn’t happen at the same time but it interrupted
my flow when I had to be away from my home and then I
had to vacate the seldom used room to go to my bedroom
to meditate.

I was eager to leave for Clinic 2, some of the family
problems had been resolved and I had made a decision
to become a Pilates teacher in preparation for
retirement. I felt good about combining meditation
and Pilates in my next career, although I was still
struggling about retirement. I was looking forward to
learning more about meditation, being with the group
and staying at the Himalayan Institute. During the
second day, I learned it isn’t good to meditate in a
rocking chair! I learned why and how to do nasal
washes and use a tongue scraper. I liked all the
Ayurvedic health information. And I learned that I
could participate in Kirtan; no one was paying
attention to my horrible singing voice. I learned
that I am drawn to meditation because it makes sense
to me. I learned how the breath affects the mind and
how it impacts your energy, your body systems and your
thought processes. Meditation is a very powerful tool
that I want to cultivate in myself and others. I went
home with the tasks to practice relaxation and
meditation myself and teach it to others and to buy a
meditation bench. Buying and using the bench proved
to be the easiest task. Talking to my coworkers about
relaxation and meditation was met with strange looks,
like I had two heads. I talked to the nursing
director and offered to give stress relief classes
through focused awareness to all interested agency
staff. She expressed interest but the other agency
administrators were not so interested and I was not
approved to offer the class. I tried to recruit my
son but he declared he was ‘too scientific’ to try
meditation. I talked to my husband about some
sessions but he was always too busy. I went to
Pilates instructor classes. I was convinced that I
needed to leave the agency where I worked, I felt the
environment was toxic to my well being yet I was
afraid to leave the security. I felt my meditation
process was helping me think more clearly and
objectively. I was hoping it could help me make a
wise decision about retirement and life after
community health nursing.

I went to Clinic 3 unprepared to teach others
meditation because I had little to no experience. It
was definitely a wakeup call to do more and recruit
practice students. I learned that relaxation is a
process to quiet the mind and restore balance in the
body. It can be learned. This is a good thing for
anyone interested in true stress relief as opposed to
the commonly thought of stress relief method of doing
nothing, like sitting on the couch watching TV. Maybe
that will be the hook to get practice students. I
went home hopeful. Then the Holiday preparations
began. I continued to practice meditation but not
every day. The holidays came and went. I have
practiced with my husband who is now a willing
participant and gives me constructive criticism. I
continue in the process of becoming a certified
Pilates instructor. I have been retired from
community health nursing for a month and continue to
worry about that decision on occasion. I feel better
and am able to stop negative thinking in its tracks.
Last week, my book club discussed the book eat pray
love by Elizabeth Gilbert. The other members were
interested in learning about meditation and had some
good questions. I was able to answer their questions
and talk about my meditation practice. I now
incorporate relaxation breathing techniques with my
anxious Pilates clients and they say it helps them.
Who knows, maybe I’ll get some meditation clients
soon. If only I can pass the certification test and
practicum next week…

I am not certain if I was consciously meditating years ago nor am I certain I had the insight to reflect upon what was transpiring in my life at that time. Yet, looking back and reflecting on that period of my life, I sense the existence or perhaps, a presence of an inner strength and purpose, in my being at a very early age.

One morning over a year ago, as is my custom, I was drinking a cup of green tea and glanced over the table and noticed a stack of unread mail. Avoiding the usual institutional notices, I paged through the Spectrum and came across an advertisement for a Meditation Certification Program. Having been a reader of Dr. Wayne Dyer and numerous other authors advocating meditation and positive thinking, I was immediately drawn to it. As a believer of “everything happens for a reason” as well as coming to the realization that
I was ready for the next level in my spiritual development, I realized this was a door that had presented itself in order for me to continue on my journey.

Something “new” can evoke feelings of uncertainty, excitement, fear, curiosity and adventure. In some cases, the “new” can be intellectually challenging and spiritually rewarding. Not knowing what to expect when I signed up to participate for the first clinic at the Himalayan Institute, I convinced a longtime friend to join me in seeking to better understand the inner self. The silence, the food, the early morning yoga session and the lectures were not only inspirational but calming. On my return trip home, sitting on the bus, my friend and I were engrossed in our own thoughts and sensed the tranquility we each felt as the bus traveled the highway.

Can I experience the benefits of guided meditation on my own? That was the question and challenge for me when I entered my home. I scanned the house seeking a place that would be conducive to meditation. That would go on for two weeks. The chair selected and I have been meeting, on and off, at 4:30 a.m. Consistency is the goal.

Still somewhat uncertain, I ventured out and called an acquaintance from the first clinic when my friend opted not to attend clinic number two. It was obvious I really wanted to return and felt the first experience had truly been a positive one. We met a Port Authority in New York City and boarded the bus as students of the Himalayan Institute.

Clinic number 2 focused on diaphragmatic breathing. Without a doubt,
I felt the benefits immediately. The sense of calmness has helped me to think clearer or with clarity. I have been able to look at things with more patience and from different perspectives. I also was able to improve my sitting position on the chair. Susan Taylor’s recommendation of meditating in the evening before going to bed as opposed to a 4:30 a.m. session has worked very well.

Clinic number three proved to be an experience of independence from the start point. I took the bus from Port Authority alone as in “solo” without friend or acquaintance. It felt great because I realized how much I enjoyed the Institute and how much I wanted to complete the certification program. The goal was now very clear to me. The session was very intense and demonstrating the guided meditation process in front of my peers was quite a challenge. Having the opportunity to share and collaborate with members of the group was a true learning experience as well as a rewarding one.

I can say I am “hooked” on the Neti Pot. I use it on a daily basis and have recommended it to a number of family members and friends. The feedback of those that were suffering from sinus pain and congestion indicates they are benefiting from the cleansing of their sinuses. I know that I now breathe easier and my nasal passages allow for a free flow of air into my body. My sitting position has improved greatly and I now sit for longer periods of time with greater consistency.

The desire to share my newly found knowledge with others is there and I am not certain as to how I will go about doing this. One thing for certain, I wish to share what has been shared with me. There have been periods in my life that I can say have been frightening. I knew the challenges before me and the manner in which I confronted them or addressed them at that time, would determine my state of happiness and fulfillment. As I indicated in my opening paragraph, I have been very fortunate to know that a connection to a source within exists for me. That source has guided me throughout my life and has provided a clear direction and a sense of purpose. Through this experience at the Himalayan Institute, I have been able to expand my vision and further connect with my inner self. I am very grateful to have had this opportunity.

Words such as clarity, patience, calmness, spiritual, comfort, sharing, learning, fulfillment, strength, tranquility etc. can all describe to some degree what I have gained from my participation in the Meditation Certification Program at the Himalayan Institute. It has made me a more insightful person with a clear sense of purpose and a desire to share.

Thank you Dr. Susan Taylor!

Although I had read much in the literature about meditation, my first personal experience with it was not until the spring of 2006. I participated in a study conducted by Prevention Magazine and the Jefferson-Myrna Brind Center of Integrative Medicine. This was my first immersion with meditation. When this study was over, I had a calmer persona and my blood pressure had actually decreased. Based on these results, I knew that meditation was something I needed to know more about.

It was not long until I found Dr. Susan Taylor’s web site, and read about the certification program for nurses. This immediately peaked my interest. As the saying goes, “When you are ready, your teacher will appear.” Unaware of what would be involved with this certification program, I cautiously registered for Clinic 1.

This started a new journey for me. It became very evident that I needed to commit to meditation in my personal life, before I could become a teacher of meditation. My first challenge was to find a time in my day that I could meditate. This has varied, but the best time is when I first wake in the morning. Meditating at the beginning of the day gives me an anchor for the rest of the day. It centers me for all the things I have to respond to during the day.

During Clinic 1 Dr. Taylor emphasized how important our seat was. I knew I could meditate sitting in a chair, because that is how I had done it before, but sitting on the floor using blankets was a new experience. I felt like I was sitting on a soft version of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I knew at any minute this pile of blankets was going to collapse. After several minutes my back and shoulders hurt. How in the world was I going to relax and meditate sitting on this perch? I went home from that clinic with one goal in mind – Sit correctly - Hips higher than knees; head, back and neck aligned; spine straight.

Now it was time to practice at home with out Susan and my new friends. It was just me and the blankets. Soon I was adding pillows to my blankets. I now had a meditation pile in the corner of my bedroom. It took more time for me to arrange my foundation than it did for me to meditate. Once everything was arranged, I would enter into my body awareness and diaphragmatic breathing. As my practice progressed, I sensed that my soft foundation was still distracting me. I just could not relax on this perch.

It was now time for Clinic 2 at Honesdale. This clinic was focused on breathing, but I was still focused on sitting. I was on a mission to find something I could sit on that would elevate my hips above my knees, be comfortable and portable, and would work for me. The blankets and pillows were just not doing it. The first day of Clinic 2, I found my foundation in the gift store. It was a firm, round, purple pillow. It was perfect. What a difference this made in my meditation practice. My left knee was having difficulty touching the floor, so I used a small pillow to fill this void. The Leaning Tower was gone, and I had achieved my stable posture. I felt such a difference in my meditation practice. As Dr. Taylor says, “Stable posture, stable mind.” Accompanied with my purple pillow, I was now ready to immerse myself in the lessons for diaphragmatic breathing (DB).

DB was not new to me. I had used this type of breathing with voice lessons, during child birth, and when feeling anxious. The difference now was that I had to demonstrate it in a group session. This required me to stay focused and relaxed. Clinic 2 seemed to move right along, and although interesting, I did not find it as challenging as Clinic 1. Of course you need to remember, I now had my purple pillow foundation. What a difference a stable foundation makes. After Clinic 2 I continued my practice at home. I would usually practice DB on my commute to and from work, standing in line at the grocery store and in meetings when I was bored.

It was sometime between Clinics 2 and 3 that my left knee finally gravitated to the floor, and I no longer needed the small pillow. Up until this time, I had accepted the fact that I was anatomically asymmetrical and would need the little pillow to achieve my stable meditation position, so this was an unexpected highlight in my meditation journey. To my amazement my body was not too old to adapt. It was becoming very evident to me that regular meditation practice was benefiting both my mind and my body in ways I had not expected.

Clinic 3 was another interesting time with Dr. Taylor and the other participants. Our meeting room was changed, and this required many of us to sit among different individuals. I got to know a totally different group of individuals, and enjoyed their company plus the company of those I had met at the last two clinics. The group seemed to be more cohesive. I had to wonder if this was due to our meditation practices or was it because we were all nervous about doing the teaching sessions in front of everyone, or was it based on group theory and we were just adjusting to everyone’s personality. I thought it was ironic that this clinic which was titled, Relaxation: The Door to Meditation, was the most stress producing of the three clinics we had attended so far. I still wonder if this was intentional, or maybe a test to see if we had really been practicing our meditation 

As I reflect about Clinic 3, I realize that this is the clinic where I made the transition from meditation student to novice meditation teacher. This transition occurred during Day 2 when we had to demonstrate our teaching skills in front of the entire group. I found myself becoming anxious as I was waiting for my turn. My heart began to race, even with my regular heart medications, a beta blocker and ace inhibitor, on board. I knew I needed to get this under control before getting in front of the group. After all, I did not plan on having a cardiac arrest at the Himalayan Institute. Wasn’t it this type of stress and the effects it had on my heart the very thing that started me on this meditation journey in the first place? My sympathetic nervous system was in high gear. This was my clue to put my body into survival mode. I automatically did a body scan for relaxation and started diaphragmatic breathing. I threw a little cognitive behavioral therapy in to top it off, and I felt myself shift into a more relaxed state of mind and body. Wow! I was moving out of the fight or flight state and into a more relaxed state. My parasympathetic nervous system was taking over. My vagus nerve did not desert me. This complete process was starting to feel very automatic and normal. It became evident that I was going to survive this teaching demonstration with the help of DB and relaxation techniques.

As I write this paper about my meditation journey, I am preparing for Clinic 4: Vital Mind: The Pillar of Transformation. This paper has served as a catalyst for me to do a self-reflection about how meditation has affected me. Doing meditation on a regular basis has led me to an understanding of what a center axis is. I have developed the ability to automatically bring myself into a relaxed stated. I now not only understand the difference between relaxation and meditation, but also how they are related. I understand how diaphragmatic breathing will take me from a state of anxiousness to a state of relaxation. It has also become evident to me and those around me that meditation is now a part of who I am, and it also becomes evident when I have drifted from my regular meditation practice.

My year long journey has been an evolving process as I have learned and developed the skills necessary to meditate and to teach meditation to others. I marvel as I reflect upon how I have developed as a person, a practitioner, and a teacher. Meditation has added a positive dimension to my life. It is now my goal to teach others about meditation and its positive outcomes.

My personal journey, I believe, began many years ago. I think that my life journey up until now, has prepared me to be ready for the next lesson: The practice of meditation. I do believe that one’s path is created from the beginning and that it is our responsibility, our adventure, to discover what it is and how to follow. I believe that if you are ready it will show itself. Along the way, we may get misdirected, or re-directed, but when we are ready to receive it, it will once again appear. I believe that the journey is “the life” and that the excitement is in finding the path that will lead us throughout.

And so the journey began…… I was a young girl who never followed the trends or the crowds or the rules. A young girl who was always looking for something more, something meaningful. Someone who enjoyed other cultures and religions, studied the globe daily, and read “Ranger Rick Magazine” so that I could learn about foreign places. I remember reading the world book encyclopedias about foreign countries and then choosing a country on the globe to “teach” my pretend class of students about that culture and their beliefs. I yearned for something more: Something exciting and different than the daily schedules that I needed to keep.

While in college and graduate school I continued to be excited about other cultures and fascinated with the human mind and spirit. I looked for avenues of self awareness and improvement. I minored in eastern religions and enjoyed reading and writing papers about practices and spiritual and religious rituals of other cultures. In college, I majored in Nursing and took as many psychology courses that I could fit into my schedule.

I found that I enjoyed the psychiatric part of the clinical rotations the best. I enjoyed learning patient’s “stories” about how the human spirit coped or compensated with/for past occurrences. And how their faith or practices allowed them to have strength.

Unfortunately early in my career, I did not find such compassionate nursing leaders. When I expressed my interest in the psychiatric field I was assigned to the medical floors where staff was needed the most and told that I couldn’t work in that area until I had at least one year of medical experience. And little did I know hat this was not the truth. I went to work everyday, crying in the parking lot before my shift would begin, and crying

Each night as it ended. But again fate stepped in and I was assigned to an oncology floor where many of the patients were going to die.

I found that patients responded to me, and that, we developed a rapport in our daily interactions. Soon, I was chatting with them and playing cards or listening to the families and their “stories” of their lives and their accomplishments and who they were. Not what disease they had. (Of course I always got in trouble for this, but to me this “healing” of the soul, this touching of lives was more important than how many bedpans I could clean.) The patients and families began to look for me when they arrived. Our updates were about how the patient was “feeling” not how many bowel movements or how many times they rang the call bell. They were dying, and no-one was addressing their souls.

I left that hospital 6 months after I arrived. I continued to pursue psychiatry and wouldn’t stop until I was allowed to practice in the area of nursing that I had chosen (Or that had chosen me). That’s where I have been in one form or another for the past 25 years: listening to others “stories” and helping them to matter, curious about their beliefs about healthcare and their traditional cultural healing methods all the while getting to know myself and defining what my path would be.

I was ready to be presented with the next part of my journey……

I was reading the Spectrum one evening and saw the advertisement for the Meditation Specialist clinics. “This is what I need to be doing next” I thought to myself. I logged onto the website to find out about Susan Taylor and the courses to be taught. How could I not register? what a gift I had found.

I am quite shy and I suppose even after many years of therapy, I still have my moments of doubt and insecurities (But without those I would not be motivated to move on for the next lesson). Who would I go with? Who did I know? I don’t really like group activities, but I was drawn to this……I had to go.

My husband who is very supportive saw my excitement at the possibilities and offered to drive me to the clinic and to stay with me throughout the week.

Once there, I remained somewhat guarded with my northeast, city skepticism. I was a sponge at the lectures but very self conscious about the practices. Yoga was new to me and I needed to open up my world and move out of my comfort zone once more.

I struggled through Clinic 1, but felt overjoyed at how much I was awakening and learning and putting all of the pieces together.
I met new people and began to watch for the changes in others and myself. When I returned home I had more knowledge about the basics but still was not ready to “join in” or fully participate.

It was difficult to get structured and to subscribe to the hours and commitment after so many years of an already over-committed schedule.

Clinic 2 came and the weather was warm and the sun was shining and I began to feel more aware and a part of something. I so enjoyed yoga practices and the vegetarian diet. But still I struggled to find the time or the space to begin my own practice. I often felt like I was behind in my journey, not hitting the mark as quickly as some of the other participants had. But I continued to try and I didn’t want to give up because I had made a committment to myself. This sometimes felt like a burden, and at times it was hard to enjoy the journey. But I needed to do this.

After arriving home from clinic 2, I began to discuss the process and the commitment with others. I was already aware of the literature about the mind body connection and had subscribed to alternative practices for myself and my family: Holistic chiropractic, massage therapy, herbal remedies, and curatives without traditional medication usage. Clinic 2 had re-inspired me to move forward, and to think on a larger scale. I wrote a business plan for a Wellness and Healing center for the agency that I work for and further investigated the practice of meditation. And although not as consistent as I would have liked, I began to establish my practice. I could see the changes in myself. I was finally ready.

Clinic three was where it all seemed to make sense. I could see the changes in others, in myself. I was almost there but still somewhat trepidacious about making the leap from student to full time practitioner. And of course, my self consciousness about performing in front of others sometimes popped up again. But I am strong and have had to pull strength from within many times throughout my life. I can do this. I haven’t come this far not to complete the course or the certification at the end.

Susan’s 30 second rule helped me tremendously after clinic 3. No matter what I had to do, I made a conscientious effort to sit for practice at least 30 seconds each day.

I have incorporated this practice into my life and I often make time to meditate twice daily. I have the patience and the energy that I have been looking for. I have clarity to see beyond the business and to take notice of what is important. My relationship with my son has benefited and we enjoy peaceful and calm conversations together (something almost unheard of for teenagers). I am more stable and calm in my dealings with others at work. To end our weekly staff meetings, I have been leading the staff in relaxation exercises, teaching diaphragmatic breathing and leading upto meditation practice. (This is really an accomplishment for the staff, many of whom were skeptical and impatient of the process). The efforts and changes in the staff and programming have been noticed by my administrators, CEO and other program directors who have asked for the “secret”.

This practice is part of the path that was chosen for me. . It helps to satisfy my searching, my wanderings. This is part of the journey: Reinforcing my desire to be a part of something that is more than skin deep, something that is close to the soul, something that helps all of us reach deep inside and reflect on all of life’s joys and sadness without judgment or effort from ourselves or others.

I just wanted to say that I have read many of the papers and have been amazed and deeply touched by the experiences and sharing that you all have presented. I can not wait until we have continuing education events where we can all meet each other and become a more closely knit group.
Sincerely, Leslie from Petaluma

The first stumbling steps on what is becoming a lifetime journey have now been made. What started out as an exploration has now become a way of life; though, the path is still rocky with stumbles and steps back a not infrequent event. There are times, usually when I am totally consistent in my personal practice, that I feel “this is it“. I am on the path to personal enlightenment. Then, something interferes, or rather, I allow things to interfere with my “routine”. I then have to struggle to climb back into the journey.

I came to the course wanting to add something to my life and a way to become a change agent for myself and, possibly, for others. Maybe a way to work in a field that I find interesting and personally rewarding. I came without any pre-conceived expectations or opinions on “meditation” as a practice, though I have been drawn more toward Eastern philosophy and the belief that there is a need to incorporate “alternatives” into the Western healthcare and wellness models.

Since I have been a vocalist and a dancer and an on/off yoga practitioner, the initial steps toward relaxation and meditation, breathing and posture, made ultimate sense and were not difficult for me to achieve. However, relaxation and quieting the mind have been much more difficult tasks for me. Through the use of your CD on mantra meditation, I was able to move through the steps of relaxation and focused awareness meditation, but still have times that the focused awareness drifts.

I prefer the mantra meditation to the counted meditation and, also, have found that the use of a meditation bench has made my relaxation and focus much easier. I tried using the other seated methods and was never very “grounded”. I am aware that when I consistently practice my meditation, I am less reactive and more at peace with the world within and without. I have more energy and focus on projects at hand.

One of the biggest challenges for me has been a consistent time to practice. I tried mornings (not the 0400 or 0600 routine because I love my bed); the 1600 hour seems to work well except that on the days that I work it is not practical and I have finally settled on the 2100 hour just before bed. Sometimes this varies due to evening commitments, but I at least attempt to settle into meditation before bed which is always before the midnight hour.

After my first public presentation of a relaxation session, the unknown has become more the known. I realize that I really am the “expert” on this topic and the individuals that have participated are appreciative and eager to learn the methods of relaxation. This was done as a component of a “healthy living” program at work. I have only presented the focused awareness meditation aspect to two individuals who expressed a desire to proceed further. These were one-time sessions due to geographic locations, but each would like to continue the practice. I gave them your CD on mantra meditation to share and we plan to meet again in late February to go over the practice in person.

While I am not a “clinical” nurse, the nurse background always will remain a part of who I am. I feel that this (relaxation/meditation) may finally be something that “fits”. I love to train, provide information and encouragement to people who need or want what I have to offer through my expertise. Meditation is something I believe in and can be passionate about

The more I interface with individuals practicing mediation the more committed I become to the practice. The conference calls have been an excellent source of inspiration and reinforcement. I would like to have a “spiritual” guide/teacher who can help me open doors to ideas/practices that will help me sustain a path to a better life; help me to keep motivated.

I definitely feel that I am walking the walk even though there are still stumbles. I believe that my experience with meditation will allow me to better encourage individuals in their own practice. I know the challenges I have had and also the rewards and I am prepared to convey my experiences and knowledge to those who are willing to learn. It is not necessarily an easy path, just a continuous one.

First this has been a process of my own enrichment, with then sharing
my
practice with my medical exercise clients. The

ability to share my meditation progress has been only as good as I have
nurtured myself into awareness. This has been a

learning process because it is really all about how and what you give
to
your own self-practice.

Clients that I see have one constant, and that is chronic pain for
various
reasons such as fibromyalgia,[with it's many associated problems],

liver replacement, joint replacements, osteo and rheumatoid arthritis,
or
cardiac involvement. The amount of pain and location

varies as does the ages, as young as eight and as old as eighty-six.
When a
client accepts the introduction to meditation I

start with positioning and breathing exercises. The level of
discomfort/pain, an individual is in, determines the degree of

focused awareness the client can reach on any given day. The breathing
exercises with counting gives the client more control

which gives me more of a physical reach and the client, the ability to
stretch into areas that were previously too guarded

to access. The ability of the client to let go and enter into that area
of
pain is a matter of trust one must build with the

client. Meditation bridges the gap to trust themselves and me, more
quickly
and deeper than the exercise alone.

I have meditated with individuals and with three to four persons, with
lying
and seated meditation for as little as five

minutes and for up to half hour sessions.

The results are excellent , I have found reduced pain, stress/anxiety
levels which enables more restful sleep.

I basically teach , meditation will enable them the power to control
their
own issues with pain, stress/fear,

anxiety, then increase the endorphins, seritonin and the synaptic
transmission thereby, deriving enhanced thickening

in the area of the frontal cortex with increasing short term memory.
This
last statement is a winner with the older clients.

I have three clients who now try to meditate regularly. These clients
are
more aware of alternative healing practices.

I am motivated further by seeing the good results where clients are
now
able to control severe anxiety and fear experienced

before starting their practice of meditation

My own goal was for a personal practice, then to extend an
introduction to
my clients into meditation, to alleviate

their anxiety regarding discomfort and to control their pain. This
knowledge
of meditation has definitely enhanced my

medical exercise practice.

I am able to utilize meditation as an additional tool to empower the
client
with control that is most often

missing with long term chronic pain suffers, [except with over use of
pain
medications, which create other problems].

Overall, my meditation practice has assisted me into delivering a
better
quality of care to my clients.

I remember investigating the advertisements in the Nursing Spectrum the first year the Meditation Specialist Certification program started. As a student of consciousness, the healing arts, and a proponent for the integration of complementary medicine for the last 18 years, I was excited about a scientifically based training program that was interested in bringing “stamp of approval” recognition by my profession.

I was personally aware of the need to renew and anchor my own daily meditation practice. Over the last few years my daily practice was challenged through multiple personal and professional life altering changes. As part of certification projects in consciousness and healing arts programs, I had studied the evidence and presented various applications for meditation in medical management programs, and experienced various approaches to daily practices.

Even though I applied the different approaches, I still found I was not having the benefits previously experienced when meditating on my own.

I could center easily, but was also easily distracted. I did not feel as energized or a sense of balance afterwards.

Something was missing.

Reinvigorating My Practice With New Learning

What was missing took started to “click” after the second clinic.

I had been using the CD as a guided meditation tool prior to the course after experiencing Dr. Taylor’s keynote at a Nursing Spectrum job fair.

I applied the different techniques. Sometimes separately, sometimes combining them in one session to help re-focus to enable me to sit for at least 15 minutes a session which was my previous “ normal” time.

I learned a few things along the way about how my body and mind were now responding:

The Counting Technique: Frequently I would get lost in the counting pattern. Where was I? Counting backward from 5 back to 1. Or did I go back to 1 and skip a cycle? My perfectionist self, wanting to do it right, got in the way. Talk about the “monkey mind”. So I learned it was best to use this technique not as an entry point, but as a refocusing when I got distracted.

So HUM as a Mantra Technique: A gentle vibration is immediately experienced, altering the rhythm of my breathing and flows into smiling. A sustaining sense of calm continues out of meditation. This became my favorite form of practice.

Alternate Nostril Breathing: An immediate sense of physical release with a “clearer” relaxed vision on what to focus on next. I starting using this at work for quick stress release and refocus.

Applying New Learning With Others With Positive Results

My workplace setting is not a patient care setting but healthcare business, specifically disease management. It is extremely fast paced and as the primary trainer for new employees, filled with stressed out people in change.

For over a year now, I have had an extremely intensive schedule, with at least 6 hours of presentation time daily. Keeping myself in balance and energized directly influenced my trainees attention span, particularly in the afternoon.

I started using the Alternate Nostril Breathing as a quick 5 minute “ release and refocus” for myself while my class was on their mid afternoon break. On days I was able to apply this technique, it resulted in comments on “ how focused” and I noticed how much easier the material flowed for me.

Prior to the Focused Awareness training, I had trainees breath deeply in and out three times and managers commented on how much calmer these people were coming out of class. Providing stress management to maintain a positive classroom environment was acceptable without gaining upper management permission, so I introduced the “stress reducer break” for those in classroom sessions who wanted to participate during the 4th quarter 2007 and 1stquarter 2008 sessions.

The break begins with a brief seated relaxation followed by the Alternate Nostril breathing. Most people could easily achieved “ refocusing”, or described their “brains feeling lighter” using the 1:1 ratio. As an alternative stress reducer break tool, I used the counting technique 1:1 breathing ratio initially using the count of 3 to relax into the diaphragmatic breathing. I would expand to the count of 5 as they became more comfortable over the two-week classroom-training period. Some participants would continue for more than 5 minutes and remain breathing or in silence for the break once the counting guidance was complete.

Overall, those who participated in either technique in contrast to those who did not participate at all were able to absorb the material with less feeling of being overwhelmed and demonstrated early success in performing their first competency checks as they transitioned into caseloads.

It will be interesting to see if they continue to apply these techniques on their
own over if these employees become some of the better performers, or at least more personally balanced.

I am currently working out a plan with our facilities health club using what I learned from my own healthcare workplace stress reducer breaks to provide tools for stress management featuring the 5 minute “release and refocus” and hopefully meditation sessions in a corporate setting.

My own discovery was that some days just required a different technique to help open the door to a positive meditation experience. My life had altered dramatically externally, and it makes sense my internal life had too. To rebalance and allow growth into a new practice, I needed a new set of tools to gain new awareness and rediscover my center.

I FIRST BECAME REINTERESTED IN MEDITATION AGAIN IN
2006 WHEN I ATTENDED A CONFERENCE I N BOSTON. THIS
WHETTED MY APPETITE TO PRACTICE MEDITATION, AS I DID
IN COLLEGE WITH TM ALL THOSE YEARS BEFORE.

THEN I SAW AN ADVERTISEMENT IN NURSING SPECTRUM FOR
CERTIFICATION AS A MEDITATION SPECIALIST . THIS WAS
JUST WHAT I WANTED. I COULDN'T WAIT TO TAKE THIS
COURSE! IT WOULD BE A WAY TO COMBINED MY OWN
PERSONEL INTEREST AS WELL AS INCREASE MY KNOWLEDGE
BASE AND BROADEN MY CAREER PATH.

I KNEW AFTER THE FIRST SESSION IN MARCH THAT THIS
WAS THE BEST THING I COULD DO. SUSAN TAYLOR WAS
DYNAMIC AS A SPEEKER AND IMMEDIATELY GOT MY FULL
ATTENTION AND INVOLVEMENT.

STAYING IN HONESDALE AT THE HIMALAYAN INSTITUTE SET
THE STAGE BY ENGROSSING ME IN BOTH MEDITATION AND
YOGA. HIM IS THE PLACE TO BE FOR THIS TYPE OF
COURSE. I LOVED IT.

AFTER LEAVING THE HONESDALE FACILITY IN MARCH, I
WENT HOME AND BEGAN USING MY NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FOR
SELF PRACTICE. I STARTED OUT STRONG BUT THEN LET
MYSELF SLIP BACK INTO MY OLD WAYS. I WOULD
MEDITATE, BUT ONLY WHEN THE MOOD WOULD STRIKE ME.
THIS WAS MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK.
WHEN OUR SECOND SESSION STARTED I WAS EXCITED AGAIN.
GOING BACK TO HONESDALE FELT LIKE GOING HOME TO
FRIENDS. AGAIN I THOUROUGHLY ENJOYED MY TIME AT THE
INSTITUTE AND UPON LEAVING SWORE MY DEDICATION TO
MEDITATION AND A LIFE CHANGING PRACTICE. ( DID I
MENTION THAT THIS IS NOT SO EASY TO DO EVEN WHEN YOU
REALLY WANT TO AND KNOW HOW BENEFICIAL IT ALL
IS?)
SO BACK HOME I WENT, AND I BECAME MORE
CONSISTENT.THE BEST TIME FOR ME WAS ON MY BREAK AT
WORK BECAUSE THIS IS WHEN I FELT I NEEDED TO
PRACTICE THE MOST. ALMOST ALWAYS I WAS ABLE TO
RELAX AND MEDITATE AND THIS IN TURN MADE THE REST OF
MY SHIFT AT THE HOSPITAL BETTER. I FOUND THAT I
HAD MORE ENERGY AND PURPOSE AFTER THE 15 OR SO
MINUTES THAT I PRACTICED.
I THEN STARTED ENGAGING MY EVENING CREW TO MEDITATE
WITH ME. FOR THE MOST PART WE WOULD LISTEN TO THE
MEDITATION TAPE OF SUSAN'S. EVERYBODY HAS
BENEFITTED.

HOWEVER THE REAL TEST CAME WHEN ONE OF MY PEERS ASK
ME TO GIVE A MEDITATION PRESENTATION TO ONE OF THE
NURSING COUNCILS AT WORK. I WAS APPROACHED ON A
THURSDAY FOR THE FOLLOWING TUES. OF COURSE IT WAS
OVER JULY 4TH WEEKEND. I WAS PANICED. IMMEDIATELY
I GAVE SUSAN A CALL TO SEE IF SHE COULD HELP AND OF
COURSE SHE CAME TO MY RESCUE WITH A WONDERFUL SLIDE
PRESENTATION COMPLETE WITH CARTOONS AND SCRIPT FOR
EACH SLIDE.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW NERVOUS I WAS GOING INTO THE
PRESENTATION BUT HAVING TO PREPARE FOR THIS MADE ME
BECOME WHAT I WAS PRACTICING. I HAD TO BE THE
EXPERT AND LEAD, AND BY DOING SO MADE ME EVEN MORE
ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT MY MEDITATION PRACTICE. SO I
RUSH AND PUT EVERYTHING TOGETHER FOR THE FOLLOWING
TUESDAY AND MY PRESENTATION WAS POSTPONED UNTIL
SEPTEMBER. THAT'S HOSPITAL COMMITTEE'S FOR YOU!!

SINCE THEN I HAVE CONTINUED MY OWN PRACTICE ABOUT
FIVE TIMES A WEEK, I HAVE CONTINUED TO HAVE SOME
MEDITATION SESSIONS WITH MY PEERS ON THE EVENING
SHIFT AND I STILL HOPE TO DO MORE WITH MEDITATION IN
THE HOSPITAL WITH IN THE NEXT YEAR. HOWEVER THAT
WILL DEPEND ON PEOPLE OTHER THAN JUST MYSELF.

FOR ME I DO KNOW THAT THIS IS THE VERY BEST THING
THAT I COULD BE DOING. AND EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT
PERFECT, I KEEP PLODDING AWAY. IN FACT JUST LAST
WEEK I HAD A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT BECAUSE I WAS
HAVING SHOULDER PAIN FROM AN INJURY AT WORK. IN THE
DOCTORS OFFICE IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE BEST COURSE
OF ACTION WOULD BE TO HAVE MY SHOULDER INJECTED
(SOMETHING THAT IS PAINFUL AT BEST). JUST PRIOR TO
THE INJECTION I DID MY RELAXATION BREATHING AND TO
MY AMAZEMENT IT DIDN'T HURT!!! NOT EVEN A LITTLE
BIT. EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT I FELT GReAT BECAUSE I
WAS ABLE TO RELAX AND DIDNOT TENSE UP WHEN BEING
INJECTED, THEREFOR I DIDNOT HAVE ANY PAIN FROM THE
INJECTION ITSELF.
THIS MEDITATION STUFF REALLY WORKS. THANK-YOU
SUSAN TAYLOR

My Meditation Journey
A few years ago, I attended a lecture on breathing by a yoga instructor at the National Institute of Fitness and Sports. I was impressed by the lecture and the fact that the yoga instructor, Charles, didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on him. Therefore I signed up for a yoga and meditation class at his Inner Peace Yoga Center. My primary goals were to reduce stress and improve posture.
Yoga has been very beneficial for me and has become an integral part of my life. Yoga especially helps with my arthritis and flexibility issues. As part of my yoga instruction, I learned to meditate. Meditation was taught as a means or method for spiritual development.
Since I retired from my Industrial Hygienist job, I had been looking for a way to be of service to others. I decided that teaching meditation was a great opportunity for me to do this. People of all ages seem more stressed, distracted, and less focused than ever. Also, meditation could be taught in such a variety of settings.
What I have learned from this meditation course has been invaluable. It has basically helped me “get down to business” with my existing practice. Using blankets for support, I now have a position that is comfortable and stable. Consequently, I sit longer and am able to go deeper in meditation. My practice is also more consistent. The 30 second rule is excellent. I used to meditate 3 or 4 times a week. Now I meditate every day even when traveling. I find the 30 seconds usually stretches to at least 7-10 minutes.
Your course emphasizes thinking positive thoughts. This reminds me of what Swami Hari said in a lecture I attended, “meditate every day, but don’t meditate if you are in a bad mood”. Therefore, I try to place myself in a good frame of mind before I start meditating. It helps me to think thoughts of gratitude and appreciation and to adopt an attitude of acceptance and giving up control. In difficult situations, paying attention to my breathing and reframing things in a positive manner does help me be more calm and centered.
I’ve tried carrying meditation over into my daily life with some mindfulness practices, for example, when washing dishes. This is much harder than expected and I often catch my mind wandering. Another practice I am trying is walking meditation. It seemed difficult to maintain my focus at first, but I’ve finally gotten the hang of it. It’s quite satisfying when you become completely absorbed in your body mechanics, stretching and contracting muscles, feeling the sensation of your heel striking the floor, etc.
I’ve been doing a few experiments, like starting a food diary to check the effects of certain foods. I’m also more aware of nostril dominance. I’ve even checked my finger temperature after meditation to see what the effect might be (must be my science background!).
Overall, I think I’ve been making some progress in my meditaion practice. When I get deeper into meditation, I feel a sense of balance and harmony. My breath feels finer and more subtle. Afterwards, I sometimes seem to see things with greater clarity, things seem to slow down, and my writing is better, more precise.
There are a few other things I’ve noticed. I’m somewhat less attached to material things. There have been more coincidences in my life. People seem more open to me. I also feel more in tune with the environment and the greater purpose in my life.
Teaching meditation to my grandchildren, ages 6, 8, and 11, has been more challenging than I imagined. It certainly has taught me patience. When I first started teaching them they were energetic, fidgety, noisy and had lots of reasons why this was not a good time to meditate. They especially fought the relaxation part. Slowly, but surely though, they seem to be taking to it, even getting some enjoyment from it. One of their neighborhood friends, on the other hand, told me after one lesson that she was going to meditate every day!
Finally, Olivia, the 8-year-old, related this story to me. She had been taking swimming lessons at the high school pool for the last few months. Then a few days ago, her class began competition. In her event, Olivia said she raced across the pool and back and was the first to touch the rim of the pool. However, she said her heart was racing and she couldn’t breath right. Then she remembered to breathe diaphragmatically and her breathing returned to normal and gradually slowed down. She seemed visibly impressed that this stuff really works!
For a number of reasons, taking this meditation course has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. However, what I have learned in the course and achieving certification to teach meditation make it very worthwhile.

“Overture”

I was born and raised in Michigan but spent 30 years of my career in Chicago, and many of those early years were in nursing. This paper is about me and my journey during this past year, but first
some background information….

I never particularly wanted to be a nurse and explored other options while in Chicago. I earned two Masters Degrees, one in English Literature and one in Health Administration. With the latter, I was able to work in positions that paid better (and had better hours) than nursing. I also took yoga classes on and off, and took a class in T.M. in the 1970s. I believe that my early meditation practice helped me through graduate school by improving my ability to relax and feel rested and alert after 20-30 minutes. I practiced almost every day around 5:00 PM before going to night classes. I became a true believer in the value of meditation over 30 years ago.

When I made the move back to Michigan and into early semi-retirement in 2002, I had a heart attack two weeks later! Luckily, I had early intervention with an angioplasty and two stents. Even better, there was no heart muscle damage. After four months of “R & R,” I was ready to start my new adjunct position as an English instructor at the local community college. While I liked this new job, I still thought about possible career alternatives in nursing. I kept up my nursing license.

When I noticed the ad for “Meditation Specialist,” it aroused my interest and seemed to present the possibility of something I could do both: 1) to improve my own health; and 2) to generate a little extra income.

When I signed up for the first seminar, I mainly wanted to explore something new, so I simply looked forward to a few interesting days in Honesdale, Pennsylvania.

Clinic I: March, 2007 Honesdale, PA

I didn’t know what to expect, but I liked the first clinic. I very much liked the medical/scientific approach to the ancient practice of meditation. The meditations led by Susan Taylor were marvelous! Since I go to yoga classes at home, the early AM yoga classes were great as well. I needed to decide if I would continue with this, but my first impression was good. I bought several of Susan’s CDs. Some of the food was good, and I did like the “Tea Lounge.”

April and May, 2007 Michigan

I didn’t do much with my meditation practice except follow the meditations on my new CDs about twice a week. I also practiced some version of the meditation I had learned so many years ago. I did decide to go back to Honesdale for Clinic II.

Clinic II: June, 2007 Honesdale, PA

This clinic was a big turning point for me. I knew that breathing was a vital key to meditation and it certainly was reinforced here! The notion of a daily practice in a special environment finally sank in, and I looked forward to working on that at home. I was getting to know my classmates a little better as I saw their familiar faces again. Jeri S. and I spent a little time together practicing our meditation “teaching words.” I could see I had my work cut out for me. I bought a few items at the Himalayan gift shop, including a couple of CDs. The one by Rolf Sovik seems quite good.

July, 2007 Michigan

I have written my first script (seated position, systematic) and practiced on my first “volunteer.”
My friend is tall and was ready to leave after an overnight visit. I was careful to seat her with her hips slightly higher than her knees. Because she was in a hurry, I didn’t have her take off her shoes. This was a mistake. After I led her through the meditation, she mentioned that she was able to relax everywhere except…her feet! Lesson learned: don’t cut important corners, even if someone is on a tight schedule.

I recruited two other “volunteers” for the seated position meditation this month (including my yoga teacher!) and it went well both times. I was told I have a good voice.

August, 2007 Michigan

I have set up a comfortable, quiet spot in my guest bedroom for my own meditation practice. I have my mat on the carpeted floor with a few pillows and a couple of beach towels nearby. I won a little “spa basket” with both a comfy neck roll and an eye pillow so I feel “good to go” for now. I’m also beginning to use my Neti Pot. I still need a meditation chair which I plan to purchase when cash flow allows.

I visited my 34 year old niece for a few hectic days and practiced the systematic lying down meditation with her. She said it made her feel relaxed, even a couple of hours later.

September, 2007 Michigan

I am feeling some resistance to regular practice at times and I don’t understand it as it makes me feel so good. I did sign up for a six-week Monday evening community meditation class, as I want to see how the teacher runs such a class.

Trouble! On September 8th, I got a call from my cardiologist’s office informing me that I had to have another angioplasty and possible stent. (This was after my annual exercise stress test showed some new blockage.) Why, oh why?? My “numbers” are good so I don’t see how this happened. I don’t think my doctor does, either, really. The procedure went well and I have a new stent.

On September 28th, I visited Mrs. N., the elderly mother of a friend. I did a lying down systematic relaxation with her. She is “sharp as a tack” at 88. I let her lie on a hard bed and made her comfortable with pillows and blankets, carefully positioning her tender right leg. She was able to focus on the words and the breath and did pretty well. She is a worrier and a bit “hyper,” and felt calmer after our session.

September/ October, 2007 Michigan

I went to the six sessions (over a period of six weeks) of Chuck F’s meditation class where I learned a couple of new things and reinforced others. He has had a personal daily practice for years and emphasized this strongly. We worked with the breath (including alternate nostril breathing), mantras, and visualizations.

October, 2007 Michigan

On October 14th, I led another friend (about my age) through a systematic relaxation. While lying on her back, she developed a left low back spasm so I moved her to a chair. She felt relaxed for a while before the spasm started again. She told me this always happens in a dental chair, too. I also had her work on a stability ball and it appears that her abdominal muscles are quite weak. I did suggest to her that she work on strengthening her “abs” and that should have a positive effect on her back.

Clinic III: October, 2007 Honesdale, PA

I got to Honesdale quite late as I missed my connecting flight in Detroit. I do like the discipline of the place, e.g., getting up early to practice yoga. We worked hard on the meditations and I was told I have to work more on diaphragmatic breathing. I really like the alternate nostril breathing and the 31-point meditation. I have far to go on my meditation journey, probably a lifetime.

November/December, 2007 Michigan and Ohio

I finally got my folding meditation bench. It’s about time, I guess, and I do like it.
I went to a spa in Ohio for three days and did yoga/meditation every day. Of course I also enjoyed a facial, some massages and very good and healthy food. One insight for me is how good it is to practice a little yoga before meditation. The meditation seems deeper this way.

January, 2008 Michigan

A new year and I have been brainstorming with a couple of friends about how to reach out with my meditation practice. One idea: a weekend retreat in someone’s house for a small group of women where we would practice stress reduction/relaxation (meditation), yoga, and work on wellness. Another friend suggested a ladies’ camp/retreat (she has access to a huge, beautiful, secluded, private, family owned beach on Lake Michigan) for a week in summer where we would start with sunrise meditation and yoga, and enjoy nature, music, healthy food and of course more meditation and stress reduction.

February, 2008 Michigan

I led my Saturday English Composition class in a systematic relaxation one morning after students said they were stressed by school, work, and their children. The following Saturday morning I held class as usual but without a meditation. After class, a couple of students told me that they wished I had led a meditation again because it had really made them feel good. One student asked if I could show her alternate nostril breathing as I had made some mention of it. Life is good.

“Coda” Now, I am at the real beginning of my journey.

Not long ago I was a menopausal woman dealing with hot flashes, disturbed sleep and heart palpitations. After being diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years back I began to gain weight when, out of fear of injuring myself, I began to limit my physical activity. I felt like I was in the worst shape of my life, both physically and mentally. A quick fix would have been to start taking anti-anxiety drugs or hormone replacement therapy. Instead I decided to take a more spiritual path and turned to alternative therapies.
I started taking yoga classes and found that the gentle asanas paired with the breath began to ease my discomfort.
Searching for more I rediscovered meditation and am now on a path to leading a more balance life.
Clinic 1 taught me what I needed to know to get started on my journey. I was excited to return home to start my practice.
I began to meditate daily at 4am, preferring this quiet time of day when my mind is calmer. I continued this morning practice and noticed an immediate change in how I felt. I work in a busy pre-operative area which requires a fast pace and constant multi-tasking. I began to feel less anxious as I remembered to breathe
using my diaphragm. I became better at multi-tasking as I was
able to focus more clearly. My coworkers noticed I was calmer and they began asking me to teach them what I had learned. At this point I did not feel I had enough skill to teach but I demonstrated what I knew.
After a month my decision to forego breakfast in place of my early meditation practice was becoming a problem, causing lightheadedness. I switched my practice to the early evening before dinner. I felt this time was more challenging since the thoughts of the day cluttered my mind. Finding it difficult to settle down I would begin by doing a few yoga poses. I discovered on some days that the counting meditation was more effective than the sohum and I became more comfortable feeling what I needed at different times. Gradually I was able to quiet my mind more quickly as the mediation sequence became more routine. On my days off I still try to meditate before dawn. .
After clinic 2 I bought a meditation bench and found that I was able to sit longer and more comfortably on it. I also began to use a neti pot and tongue scraper daily. Having given up my morning coffee months ago I was amazed at how energized I felt without it.
I was making better food choices and started to feel healthier.
I wanted to start practicing the relaxation techniques on my patients but since there is little time before surgery I wondered if I would have the opportunity. I soon learned how effective even 5 minutes could be. My first patient was a 15 year old girl who was hysterically crying through out the admission process, feeling out of control and fearing the intravenous I needed to insert. When I told her I could help her relax she was more than willing to let me try .I practiced 2:1 breathing with her and I was amazed with the results. She kept her eyes closed and slowly breathed in and out while I inserted the IV. Her immediate calmness shocked both her parents and the doctors but most of all me, as I have never been able to relax a patient so quickly before.
My coworkers began asking me to help them with their anxious patients and I soon discovered what other methods of relaxation could benefit certain patients. I have continued to also practice with family, friends and coworkers and have seen positive results.
When, after one session a coworker stated that she felt like she had had a massage, I knew how beneficial learning these techniques could be.
As for me, I continue on my journey. I am happy to report that I no longer have hot flashes or trouble sleeping and my fibromyalgia pain has not been as severe. Although there are some days when I do not sit on by bench for long I never let a day pass witho